FOUR (4) WAYS TO LET GO OF PAST HURT
There is no one alive that has not been hurt one way or another, we have all experienced some kind of emotional pain. Yeah yeah, it hurts. I get that.
It is very important how you handle the hurt than the hurt itself. The question then is, how dou you let go of past hurts and live a happier life?
Still haunted by our past? Then this post is for you, that is only if you want to be free then read on.
An real example:
From first hand experience, for many years; I have nursed this feeling of anger and bitterness about the past. The feeling of abandonment by my mother, my mind kept screaming about "what should have been" and the endless list of what I experienced without her then kept plaguing my mind.
A time came when there was an outburst, all the pain and bitterness I ever felt came out through words. The pain caused by words of anger and hurt is deeper than using a cane to flog someone. Words linger, even after months pass by, the words still echo as fresh as if it was said yesterday.
I saw the light and decided to take responsibility for my own happiness. My bitterness and hurt was preventing me from experiencing the ease and well-being I so desired, so I stopped dwelling on it.
I ended the blaming game, no more stories of what should have been. The identity which I once had as a wounded child totally vanished. Finally what I yearned for, happiness and peace all round is what I got in return.
FOUR (4) WAYS TO LET GO OF PAST HURT
1. Take a firm decision to let go. Its not east for the hurt to just disappear on its own.You need to make a commitment to let go. If you don't make a conscious effort to work on it, you will still remain on the same spot. Stop going over the details of the story in your head every time you think of the other person, change the topic of discussion when with people and you think the discussion is dragging towards the hurt.
2. Stop blaming others. It might sound good being the victim in this plot but guess what? The world doesn't care, so just get over yourself.
You are important, yes and so does the other person. Life is so deep. Its about
the choices we make. Take responsibility for your life and happiness. Don't allow anyone have that power over you.Be an active participant in your life and not a hopeless victim.
NOTE: DO NOT LET YOUR PAIN BECOME YOUR IDENTITY.
3. Focus on the present (the now)
Remember you can't undo your past. Stop telling yourself stories from your past. What you can do is to make the present the best day of your life.
Focusing on the present gives you less time to relive your past. Your past is bound to creep in one time or another, just acknowledge it for just a moment and get back on track.Tell youself "its alright" or "such is life", words that encourage.
4. Forgiveness (you and them)
Forgiveness is a two way thing, both for you and the other person. You may not have to forget another person’s bad behaviors, but virtually everybody deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.”
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. Instead, you are simply saying, “I’m a good person. You’re a good person. You did something that hurt me. But I want to move forward in my life and welcome joy back into it. I can’t do that fully until I let this go.” It’s also a way of empathizing with the other person, and trying to see things from their point of view.
And forgiving yourself may be an important part of this step as well, as sometimes we may end up blaming ourselves for the situation or hurt. While we indeed may have had some part to play in the hurt, there’s no reason for you to keep beating yourself up over it. If you can’t forgive yourself, how will you be able to live in peace and happiness?
I don't think anybody’s life should be defined by their pain/hurt. It’s unhealthy, it adds to our stress, it hurts our ability to focus on activities and it impacts every other relationship we have (even the ones not directly affected by the hurt). Every day you keep holding on to the pain is another day everybody around you has to live with that decision and feel its consequences.
Please do yourself and everyone around a big favor: Let go of the pain. Do something different today and watch as happiness comes back into your life.
