Saturday, June 4, 2016
Exclusive UYAI: 4 TIPS TO AVOID SEXUAL ABUSE OF A CHILD.
Exclusive UYAI: 4 TIPS TO AVOID SEXUAL ABUSE OF A CHILD.: May 27 of every year is set aside to celebrate children all over Nigeria. On this day every year, its a holiday for children as several...
4 TIPS TO AVOID SEXUAL ABUSE OF A CHILD.
May 27 of every year is set aside to celebrate children all over Nigeria.
On this day every year, its a holiday for children as several social activities are centred on and for them.Most children converge at stadiums and centres to commemorate the day.
It is also a habit of some government officials and media organisations to honour some children with leadership opportunities and awards. Some radio and TV stations do this by featuring child broadcasters on air and letting them anchor their programmes for the early part of the day and are being interviewed.
On this day I was watching a program on one of the television stations and stumbled on an interview where a young girl of 14 year old was talking about child abuse and it was centered on child rape cases.
I went down memory lane when I was a young girl of 7 and we, that is my family were living with my Uncle as we yet to secure accommodation in Lagos.
I was the most senior of my siblings, I had a brother and two sisters with my mother and father. The compound we lived in was a three storey building and there was the servant's quarters or would you call it Boy's quarters.
We had enough space to play around as we loved playing hide and seek.
There was a Man living at the boys quarters, I don't know if he was related to us or he was one of the help in the compound. I can still remember his name which was Aniekan and any time he saw me, he always refereed to me as his wife, which made me blush and will tell him that I was not his wife.
One of those days when I and my siblings were playing the hide and seek game, I ran and hid behind one of the doors in the servant's quarters, praying I won't be discovered. When suddenly this Aniekan Man appeared in the room and as innocent as I was;I hushed him not to talk to me so that I won't be discovered but he had other plans.
He started towards me and pulled me to himself, I was struggling with him and told him that he wants them to catch me, not knowing he was trying to have his way with me,he suddenly put his hands under my skirt that's when it dawned on me that this was something else, I didn't think and started screaming he covered my mouth with his palms and begged me not to scream again that he won't harm me,but my siblings had already heard me scream and they ran in there shouting, "we catch you" oblivious of what almost happened to me and we all ran out of that room.
After that incident, I knew that I was not to go near that area again else something bad might happen to me. And the kind of child I was, I never told anyone about it till date. Luckily for me Aniekan never tried anything with me again and even calling me wife had ended.
So many young girls are not as lucky as I was.
4 TIPS TO AVOID SEXUAL ABUSE OF A CHILD.
1. Parents should be close to their daughters so that if they are faced with such a thing can can tell them immediately a man tries anything funny.
2. parents teach your children sex education at an early age, let them be aware of the differences.
3. Parents should be aware that the people that abuse children are not strangers but close people around,such as relatives, neighbors, friends etc.
4. Avoid using Male housekeepers in a home with young girls, you see some families prefer their househelps to be males because they don't want the house help to have an affair with the oga but which is better, for your daughter to be sexually abused, raped?
Friday, May 13, 2016
FOUR (4) WAYS TO LET GO OF PAST HURT
FOUR (4) WAYS TO LET GO OF PAST HURT
There is no one alive that has not been hurt one way or another, we have all experienced some kind of emotional pain. Yeah yeah, it hurts. I get that.
It is very important how you handle the hurt than the hurt itself. The question then is, how dou you let go of past hurts and live a happier life?
Still haunted by our past? Then this post is for you, that is only if you want to be free then read on.
An real example:
From first hand experience, for many years; I have nursed this feeling of anger and bitterness about the past. The feeling of abandonment by my mother, my mind kept screaming about "what should have been" and the endless list of what I experienced without her then kept plaguing my mind.
A time came when there was an outburst, all the pain and bitterness I ever felt came out through words. The pain caused by words of anger and hurt is deeper than using a cane to flog someone. Words linger, even after months pass by, the words still echo as fresh as if it was said yesterday.
I saw the light and decided to take responsibility for my own happiness. My bitterness and hurt was preventing me from experiencing the ease and well-being I so desired, so I stopped dwelling on it.
I ended the blaming game, no more stories of what should have been. The identity which I once had as a wounded child totally vanished. Finally what I yearned for, happiness and peace all round is what I got in return.
FOUR (4) WAYS TO LET GO OF PAST HURT
1. Take a firm decision to let go. Its not east for the hurt to just disappear on its own.You need to make a commitment to let go. If you don't make a conscious effort to work on it, you will still remain on the same spot. Stop going over the details of the story in your head every time you think of the other person, change the topic of discussion when with people and you think the discussion is dragging towards the hurt.
2. Stop blaming others. It might sound good being the victim in this plot but guess what? The world doesn't care, so just get over yourself.
You are important, yes and so does the other person. Life is so deep. Its about
the choices we make. Take responsibility for your life and happiness. Don't allow anyone have that power over you.Be an active participant in your life and not a hopeless victim.
NOTE: DO NOT LET YOUR PAIN BECOME YOUR IDENTITY.
3. Focus on the present (the now)
Remember you can't undo your past. Stop telling yourself stories from your past. What you can do is to make the present the best day of your life.
Focusing on the present gives you less time to relive your past. Your past is bound to creep in one time or another, just acknowledge it for just a moment and get back on track.Tell youself "its alright" or "such is life", words that encourage.
4. Forgiveness (you and them)
Forgiveness is a two way thing, both for you and the other person. You may not have to forget another person’s bad behaviors, but virtually everybody deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.”
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. Instead, you are simply saying, “I’m a good person. You’re a good person. You did something that hurt me. But I want to move forward in my life and welcome joy back into it. I can’t do that fully until I let this go.” It’s also a way of empathizing with the other person, and trying to see things from their point of view.
And forgiving yourself may be an important part of this step as well, as sometimes we may end up blaming ourselves for the situation or hurt. While we indeed may have had some part to play in the hurt, there’s no reason for you to keep beating yourself up over it. If you can’t forgive yourself, how will you be able to live in peace and happiness?
I don't think anybody’s life should be defined by their pain/hurt. It’s unhealthy, it adds to our stress, it hurts our ability to focus on activities and it impacts every other relationship we have (even the ones not directly affected by the hurt). Every day you keep holding on to the pain is another day everybody around you has to live with that decision and feel its consequences.
Please do yourself and everyone around a big favor: Let go of the pain. Do something different today and watch as happiness comes back into your life.
Friday, April 22, 2016
TIPS ON HOW TO TREAT BLEACHED AND SUN PATCH SKIN WITH ALOE VERA
TIPS ON HOW TO TREAT BLEACHED AND SUN PATCH SKIN WITH ALOE VERA
I bumped into an old classmate of mine on one of my trips out of time and my oh my what i saw on her was a sorry sight. She had like dark/red patches on her face, she wore a sleeveless silk blouse which made her arms so obvious and you won't help but stare and wonder. I lowered my eyes in a discreet manner to peep at her upper arms close to her armpit, it was an eye sore, snake -like veins stretched through and was red and disgusting to look at.
I thought of a better way to bring up her skin issue without making her self conscious mind her or embarrassing her. So I decided to ask her what she does for a living, she told me she is into catering, so I also told her am in training to open my own spa. She didn't quite understand what I meant by spa. I had to explain, yes! that was the opportunity I was looking for, so I told her its about skincare, if you have problems with your skin, I handle every issue or concerns of the skin.
So I ask her what cream she uses, she told me she combines a tube cream with another cream, permit me not to mention it here. I asked her if she is comfortable with the way her skin was, she replied that the person that told her to use it said that's how the cream reacts at first then later it would stabilize and give her a glowing skin.
I couldn't but giggle at such ignorance, I told her, if she doesn't want to develop skin cancer she better stop using that cream.
I had to be blunt about it though, I told her how irritating her skin was, and it would scare people away from her. I didn't need talk much because she knew I was telling the truth, I told her to try Aloe Vera gel,
It's perfect for treating most skin problems. It works on hyperpigmentation by encouraging the skin to regenerate new skin cells. As the new skin cells form, the old ones are sloughed off, leaving a fresh, new area free of the unsightly dark spots. Additionally, it adds moisturizing and cleansing properties that leave the skin looking and feeling fresh and rejuvenated.
I told her to look for it and use consistently for a month then let me know how far the healing has gone.
How to treat sunburn skin with aloe Vera
You want to get rid of dark patches on the skin using
aloe vera, you can simply use a freshly picked leaf.
1. Cut a freshly picked aloe vera leaf
2. Rinse it with water
3. Squeeze out some gel
4. Apply the gel onto the dark spots on your face or skin(preferably at night)
5. Leave it to rest for a few minutes (about 30) then rins off with tepid water or rinse off the following morning using mild soap.
6. Repeat the procedure everyday for about a month, depending on individuals' skin, improvement is noticeable between 2-3weeks.Instead of spending loadz of money on expensive creams that have harmful chemicals which can spoil the skin, why not try natural products especially plants extract, such as aloe Vera, you could even plant it in a flower pot or in a little garden, it will grow whether rain or shine. I use it as a moisturizer. Tell us about your experience with aloe Vera, was it helpful or not?
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
CELEBRATING CAESARIAN AWARENESS MONTH
CAESARIAN AWARENESS MONTH
The caesarian awareness month falls in April of every year. This is a month dedicated to educate and raise awareness about caesarian. Its a month to encourage women to opt for natural/vaginal delivery rather than Cs because of the risk involved in Caesarian section.
A cesarean section or (CS) for short, is a surgical operation in which a baby is delivered through a cut in the front wall of the abdomen and womb.
We are not saying women should not have caesarian section but only as the last option if the lives of mother and child are in danger, or baby is feet down instead of head,or prolonged labour. CS is not without its risk, its good to be aware of every choices or options we decide to go with.
Amanda shares her experience during her delivery, she is a mother of two lovely children all through the caesarian section. We asked her why she choose to have her baby through caesarian section instead of vaginal birth?
Here is Amanda's Account of her Caesarian section birth story
Amanda: I got married to my husband and I took in during our honeymoon, my husband works in another state while I was at my station. I was not ready to quit my job and he didn't urge me to either, we had an understanding. I would always travel to be with him every other weekend I was less busy. Now back to work after the honeymoon, I had to face my work squarely as I had taken my annual leave for that year, before I knew it I was now approaching the end of my second trimester and could count the number of times I had been with my husband.
When I go for ante-natal at the health care, the nurses always remind us spend more time with our husbands because of its benefit even though that's the worst time to feel in the mood, on my own part I just wonder, what about me that I barely see the man? That was a question I threw only to my self without any answer.
The D day came for me, as I started experiencing cramps in my lower abdomen, which came at intervals. I just knew that was sighns that I was in labour. So I carried my already pack suitcase and called on my landlady who was, thank God available, she drove me to the hospital where I was to have my baby.
I was checked in by the nurse attendant at the counter, the midewife came to check how long I was dilated.
I was just 4cm, she told me I had a long way to go but that everything was alright. The contractions came harder, she came back to me, after checking me she still said, its still the same gal, you better save your strength for latter.
I kept having contractions that were very close in between but hadn't dilated enough to start the push. From one hour to four till almost twelve hours having contractions and not dilated more than 4cm. The doctor decided to induce me which was the worst thing that could happen to me, still no way and I think the inducement did something because my baby was ready to be born but the passage was not ready, so the doctor decided instead of waiting any longer which might hurt me and my baby we should take that route.
They had to call up my husband for his consent before the procedure. My husband was reluctant to give his consent for almost 1hour, while I was groaning in pains waiting for just the "yes" which would relieve me of the pain I was experiencing.
Finally, it came. He said the word. And before I knew what was happening, I was wheeled on a stretcher to the theatre. I was first give anastesic to numb any feeling in my lower body, seriously all the contractions vanished. I felt so peaceful, all I could hear were voices of the doctor and the widwife with the attendant present, it wasn't up to 10minutes when the doctor held up my baby for me to see and placed him in the midwife's arms as she started cleaning him up. The doctor was now working on me so fast, that I kept wondering what he was doing with such speed. I kept muttering prayers under my breath for God to direct him, there should be no mistake as I have heard of horrid stories.I refused to dwell on those stories, the Doctor was talking to me all this while and asking me questions, some I couldn't answer, I guess that was so that I wouldn't sleep off.
Minutes later, or should I say hours later, I didn't check the time so I can't actually say how long the operation took, but I was wheeled out to the post partum ward while the midwife followed with my baby.
I was given specific instructions not to lift my head for any reason, I was too weak to even ask the reason. That's how I laid on my back for 3days at a stretch. I couldn't breastfeed my baby because my milk hadn't come in. The attendant cleaned me daily and kept checking my back, I asked her why, she said she was checking in case I developed bedsores.OMG. The things we go through, on the fourth day, I could lift my head and I was encouraged to try and walk.
It was so painful, I was bent over because of the pain that didn't allow me walk erect.And this past 3days I was not eating anything except the drip which according to them gave me all the nutrients I needed.
Almost five days in the hospital, though it was worth it, my baby hail and hearty gave me the consolation even though I couldn't care for him. My family helped me my baby, from diapering, to helping me breastfeed him, to bathing him. I really wished I could but the stitches on me didn't let me.
I could go on and on with my experience during the caesarian section but my last thought is that mothers should embrace vaginal or natural childbirth, because its easier, less painful, less exposure to infection and complication,less expensive and more or else gives you the chance to bond with your baby during the first hours of his birth.
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